Onward March to Loony Diversity

The Bromley Times this week included good coverage of my spectacularly brilliant, popular and successful campaign. However, in a desperate and futile attempt to derail the Onward March to Loony Diversity, the reactionary bourgeois scribblers who infest this crypto-feudalist organ managed to label Comrade Lord Toby Jug as my "election agent" (which he is not) and even as "party leader" (which he is not).

Voters who remain loyal to the path of Loonyism can rest assured that these revisionist tactics will not succeed! Such misrepresentations are merely the last gasp of a crumbling decadent oligarchy and its media. My victory in the by-election next Thursday remains inevitable.

Bromley OMRLP